Have to love days like those times when you piggy back me home from the station, and days when we watch movies past midnight - sleeping way after our bed time while Dr Oz or The Ellen Show is on Channel 5. We would sink in each others arms and my hair smells of all the junkfood that you had been feeding. We would talk and laugh, and cry and scream never wanting to get up from bed. I never deny the beauty of the simple things we had together because having you in my daily routine naturally makes us a part of one another. You were the same great boyfriend you were a year ago as you are today. Showing up at my school and taking me to a nice perfect dinner after a long exhausting day.

Someone who understands my love for writing and blogging. And when my laptop failed on me, and my Netbook functions as slow as a baby snail, you adopted the idea of getting me a new replacement. While his eyes reflected a subtle amount of sincerity, he allowed the words to escape between his lips. “I am getting you a Vaio and I hope you would continue expressing your thoughts through blogging and writing. I was waiting for a new post for quite a while now.” I was tainted with full of thoughts. Writing has always been the best form of escapism. Words brought me through the darkness of life, through the complexity of all troubles in the world and also through the jubilant of extraordinary chapters in my life.

This morning, I was taken aback by someone’s mention of reading my blog posts here and claimed that her younger sister and her bunch of friends are constantly following me on Twitter and Tumblr. I logged in my Formspring and before me there’s several humble posts on updating my page.

I may not have a wide audience of readers as Audrey Kitching, or Kim Kardashian. There’s a cliche quote that I used to live by and I’d forgotten along the way: “It’s not the quantity, it’s the quality.” I used to think it’s no big deal having a small amount of readers compared to all the other famous blogstars. I used to write based on my own interests and I never once question if my readers ever like it. I did not see the relevance of having readers at all. But today, I realized that despite the several few who sticked through with me through my blogspot days and up till Tumblr days, and even if that my existing readers only boils down to one person which could probably be my boyfriend, it’s still important for me to deliver a quality message behind every post that I make.

I guess this is one flaw about me. I am ungrateful about some things that were genuinely given to me. As my dad used to say: “It doesn’t matter how much you have, it’s about how much you are making the best of what you have.”

Very often, we oversee how fortunate we are and do not choose to see the good on what we are given. We dwell about how lucky Victoria Beckham is to have a successful fashion line, how much Kendall Jenner is earning by living the live of an ordinary person (well, she has no superpowers!). The famous philosophers will never fail to say that things do not happen if we do not move our asses and make it happen. But they forgot that in order to move our asses, and before we actually do something, we have to evaluate ourselves and understand how lucky we are to have the existing little things in life that we took for granted.

Love,
Queen TS

My ideal New Year celebration.

People surrounded the heart of Singapore for one obvious reason - fireworks. The exuberance of the the assorted stunning lights glistening on the clear sky, like doodles on a piece of empty sheet with magical inks, amazes everybody with its annual performance. Within a split sound of fire, we bid farewell to 2012 at the same moment we entered a brand new year.

Live music of a restaurant bar called us in. Greeted by an overwhelming scent, I couldn’t make out if its fruits or florals, Matin and I made an entrance of the restaurant bar. A handful of non-locals were clustered in different tables, with their champagne glasses in their hands while kids munched away their tiny serving of food on their plates obediently. Fairy lights decorated among the plants provides an excruciating pleasure for guests. What’s a new year without a lengthy lists of resolutions? We shared all our expectations of the year and Mango margarita is no doubt my favorite drink. We talked and dance and laughed and act silly like we do on normal days.

The same time last year we were someone else. We were these pair of kids, full of ambition, full of hope. Full of dreams and desires. But today, as I watched your lips move in a certain way I fall in love for, and as the time passes within a heartbeat, I am assured we are a little step closer to living our dreams. You grew into a man of my dreams. You became the man I would want to grow old with and pamper our grandchildren with our ‘grandmother tales’.

2012 were a year full of torment and hardships, yet full of valuable lessons we can never scoop anywhere else but through the excruciating experiences. They say, we have to take in the bad, together with the good. Moving out from the family showed me the people I can truly rely on, who genuinely cared and who are just pretending to be your relatives all these while. Just piss someone off to know who are your hidden enemies. But there’s more to life than caring about what other people want to see of you. More importantly, I am thankful for knowing the handful few who stood by me. Even though some of us are a flight away, even though some of us are caught up with careers and education.

The year had nurtured me into becoming a better me. The Me that I know I could be, the Me that lived in me and I’d recently unleashed. Being a good girlfriend is one thing, but being the right partner for the apple of my eye is a battle. Two separate people - two different mindsets working our way up to somewhere visioned in our minds. To the most patient person around who put up with my major mood problems, indecisiveness and more, thank you for still be walking beside me. Thank you for your continuous attempt to be my pillar of strengths, and your guidance in my life is irreplaceable.

The screeching sound of fire filled the air. To the ending of 2012, and to a new beginning of 2013. Toasted with a kiss.

In upmost generosity, wishing 2013 for a year full of happiness, chances, growth, hopes, and living the dreams.

xo Queen TS